When we get Barbie Pinups Dolls in our house, we get rid of them just as quickly. That crappy body image isn’t something we take kindly to around these here parts, and most people know better than to give them to us.

Okay, if my daughter really begged for one, I might give in—along with several talks about how she is just a toy and not meant to look like a real person. That said, my daughter doesn’t like any toys that resemble humans in the least (she’s even thrown princess dolls she received from well-meaning relatives in the charity box) and prefers animals to anthropomorphic animal figures in outfits (much like her mom; I was totally into Ninja Turtles and Sylvanians in my own childhood), so we’re lucky that way.

If you find yourself on the unwanted receiving end of one of these long-legged Chucky/Playboy Bunny crossed experiments, you can always do what we do: get rid of it. Here are a few ways to do just that.

• Give it to your dog as a chew toy. Toys for our border collie cost a pretty penny, since he tears up most toys meant for medium to small dogs within a day; this free toy would be much appreciated and put to good use.
• Tear it up and use it for jewelry or other art projects.
• Give her a makeover. Add fat to her with play-dough or whatever you have around. Make her look real. Or make her look like a monster, with gills or fangs or wings. Then she’s perfectly play-with-able in my book, as long as she isn’t trying to portray that a human person should look like she does. My sisters once had me dye their Barbies’ hair, make some of them into “goth” girls, and other projects, and I must admit that it was a lot of fun.
• Sell it on eBay. If a grownup collector buys it, it’s not going to do as much harm—and you get money to give to your kid instead and she or he can buy as many Hotwheel cars or Burpee seeds or Littlest Pet Shops as she or he wants!
• If it’s new and you don’t have the heart to destroy it, donate it or re-gift it to someone else. If you just can’t bring yourself to spread the body hatred to another little child, return it to the store.