There is a saying that goes: "Ask and ye shall receive." These words were probably spoken by a wise, old person, long, long, ago, in a time before Craigslist came into existence. But truer words, as they say, were never spoken.

So, I recently posted an advertisement in my local Craigslist page; in the items wanted section asking for photos of ugly, worn out, or mutilated Barbie dolls. I imagined that somewhere, in someone's basement was a treasure trove of unwanted Barbie dolls waiting to be photographed by an artsy/ gothy teenager with a sense of humor and lots of free time.

Unfortunately, I only got one response to my request(was I the only one who mutilated her Barbie?). But that one response has given me a glimpse into one young man's(if I'm to believe his email) bizarre world of Barbie-induced psychosis.

Reader beware. I have edited very little, except for the atrocious spelling and butchered grammar(though I did leave some of his mistakes in for purely artistic and comedic embellishments. Murdalation? C'me on! That's precious!)...

"reply to me with the barbie murdalation in the subject i have no pics but have hundreds of them(I thought I specifically asked for images) ... ive painted them to look bloody melted wax in there hair to resemble brain matter shredded clothes to match the scene and have rituialistically burned many at the stake and kept the remains to revel in and admire... lol(even he knows this is funny) i have played with them since i can remember and never played quite like others, but i always had the best ones and prettiest; with the best hair ( ive even learned to reshape there hair like a perm dread lok em ringlets er what ever but ending for always pony tail head )so i guess thats why i had any one to play with at all, my sister wouldn't even, because i had to spend hours setting up the house, made mostly of things around the house. And that was only for ken ( usually ever only one but now have a zillion kens and even more gi joes that are the same size ) to slowly pluck off the rest of the gurls and kill them one by one usually

Climaxing at the end where my "main " doll would be thrown all through the house destroying it completely but ken would knock em off by ... throwing em out windows (i liked watching them far and making them scream) heh many ways, too many to list here but my favorite was the washing machine on spin cycle ... lol holdin them over the spinning emptyness, the spinny thing would make there hair fly dramaticially while ken held them just barely over the edge and fianlly dropping them. Then they would be snacked up by the spinning wall wich appeared as tho they fell to the bottom broke sevrel of them that way but in doing so(my favorite part) became an expert head transplant tech. and now i mostly just search for the prettyest or most unique heads... troll thrift stores for the fancy new moveable bodies with the actuial joints and collect them ... not the flat foot ones only the newer ones that can wear the high heals and then mach the skin tone to my next in line

....i have every f*****g thing for her, so many shoes. really you could cry(trust me, I'm weeping) more clothes than should be leagal and every knick nack strip strap peace of furniture, blankets pillows fully stocked fridge w/liqure bottles and knives heh and ken has really bean replaced by G.I. Joe he has many things readily avail. for slaughtor...so im a bit outa practice but ive been just building my collection and its has grown...and hordeing more and more never leaving them in the boxes either (This is when it starts to get a little weird)and im just now checkin out what ill need to make her a sleazy lil stage with a pole for her to "preform" given em nipples and pubes is way easy lol im thinkin its gonna be f****n hot/funnyer than sh*t whene i force my friends and family to wach her...lol its sweet.....(you know you're riding the crazy train, right about now)so any hoo theres way more to talk about and i think u may have hit the jack pot as far as what yer looking for what "we" could do and ...yeah... really i have her world every thing there is and hundreds
sevral actuially alll waiting..

so ok real quik so i can finish this
im a boy lol bout to turn 29 in the 17 ( im way cute to)
only like other boys
and have you ever ripped her head off and replaced it with one of those lil gummie monster finger puppets ?
any way get back
if yer in my area we can even make them ... heh
or if i scared u.....lol
then we can simply dicuss ideas that i will exicute film and submit....
but that doesent seem as fun. oh and names jesse i live by lee hilll in (city name left out for anonymity)"

I think I may have hit the jackpot of something, but just what? All I asked for was a few snapshots, not the Barbie-carnage described above. As exciting and fun as Jesse makes this out to be, I think I'll have to pass this one up.

So my search for mutilated Barbies continues. Please, submit your pictures of old worn-out, or vandalised Barbies to our scrapbook, I want to create a gallery of Barbies that have been played with. I'm not looking for pristine, mint-condition dolls, I want to see the doll your daughter played with for years, until she learned to hate her. You know the one, she has a blonde mohawk, and one eye is gouged out.